aphnorge:

mikulios:

figures are literally so useless like what am i supposed to do with them when i get old??? pass them down to my children as family heirlooms????

year 3000
"daddy, whats this?"
"ah, its our precious family heirloom. its been passed down for years. its sasuke uchiha."

65
420weedle:

I WAS TRYING TO TAKE A CUTE PICTURE WITH MY CAT THEN THIS HAPPENED OH MY GFO
82
crissle:

humansofnewyork:

“I was doing time for armed robbery when I found out that my daughter had been killed. Her and my son-in-law had been doing hallucinogens, and he was choking her because that is supposed to make a better orgasm, but he cut off her air too long and ended up killing her. Instead of calling the police, he sat on her body for three days then dumped it behind a 7-11. I was so angry when they called and told me, I pulled up a footlocker that was bolted to the ground. I’m skinny but I’m strong as hell. My wife couldn’t take it, and she OD’d. They found her in the bathroom with one hundred empty bags of heroin. She’d fallen in the bathtub and hit her head on the soap dish. When they called and told me that, I tried to hang myself with my bedsheets.”

Jesus.